Like you, I’m a caregiver. My 92-year-old mother is in fair health, yet her macular degeneration has robbed her of most of her vision. She relies on me to provide dinner every day, pay her bills, pick up prescriptions, and take her to endless doctor appointments. My struggle is seeing my mother as more than an…
When you’re in the position of caring for your parent, it’s easy to revert to being a child again, especially if your relationship was never healthy to begin with. It can be difficult to create a boundary as an adult if no boundaries have previously existed. How do we draw that boundary line? Consider how…
“What time do you leave for work in the morning?” It’s 7:30 at night, and my mom has called to ask me a seemingly innocuous question. “Usually around 8:00 or so.” My hand grips the phone, waiting for the sucker punch. “Oh,” she says, with a sigh. The silence lengthens. I’m determined to wait her…
My mother gave me her ring. She can’t wear it anymore. Her once slender fingers have become swollen with arthritis. Four perfectly matched diamonds are mounted in a row on a gold band. I always thought it was her wedding ring because she’s worn it for as long as I can remember. She recently told…
Have you ever ignored someone speaking to you? Perhaps she asked you to do something you didn’t want to do (this is especially pervasive in the teen years). Sometimes I pretend I can’t hear my husband when he asks me for the seventh time how to find a document on the computer. He admits to…
If you’re caring for an elderly parent, it’s likely you’ll be tired of the physical and mental energy needed by your aging loved one. It’s normal to be tired. But if you don’t take time to rest, you may suffer from compassion fatigue, also known as burnout. Symptoms of Compassion Fatigue Excessive blaming Bottled up…
Winter brings short days, inclement weather, and bleak landscapes. Plants die, dropping their withered leaves on barren ground. Sometimes our souls become as stark as leafless trees, or like branches weighted with heavy snow. Have you ever wished for a respite from the daily tasks of caring for an elderly parent? I know that the…
Summer is when nature turns up the heat. Here in the Sacramento Valley, we grow some of the world’s best food. It wouldn’t be possible without the long, hot, summer days. In the caregiving season, the heat is turned up as well. We’re hit with the stark reality that life is changing, and we better…
Autumn colors, leaves falling, daylight savings; these are signs the season has changed from the lazy days of summer. There are signs of the changes in the caregiving season as well. Your aging parent is becoming more forgetful Your loved one is showing more fear of going out or falling down He or she expresses…
