Fear of Dying
Are you afraid of death?
When your Caregiving Season Ends
When she could no longer walk that far, my husband, Mike, and I fixed dinner at our house and carried it to hers so we could eat together. A year ago, after her stroke, Mike and I moved in with my mom to give more hands-on care. We took turns watching her, taking her to…
Signs of change in the Caregiving Season
Autumn colors, leaves falling, daylight savings – these are signs the season has changed from the lazy days of summer. There are signs of changes in the caregiving season as well. • Your aging parent is becoming more forgetful • Your loved one is showing more fear of going out or falling down • He…
Boundaries…What Boundaries?
When Mike and I first talked about moving in with my mom after her stroke, my sister in law gave us some advice. “Talk to a counselor. You need to make sure all of you understand boundaries.” At the time, I thought she was making something out of nothing. I could handle Mom and her…
A Mother’s Day Tribute: My Mother’s Hands
My mother gave me her ring. She can’t wear it anymore. Her once slender fingers have become swollen with arthritis. Four perfectly matched diamonds are mounted in a row on a gold band. I always thought it was her wedding ring because she’s worn it for as long as I can remember. She recently told…
Grouchiness, Aging and Dementia
Question from a reader: My aging grandmother is becoming more grouchy and pushy. She doesn’t hesitate to voice whatever she thinks, whether or not it’s rude. How does a Christian deal with that? The Bible says to honor our father and mother, so how do we honor our aging loved ones when they act like…
Caring for an aging loved one
Have you ever flipped through old photos? Many times I don’t recognize the people whose picture I captured years ago. People pass in and out of our lives. We move. We change jobs or churches. We no longer have common interests. Sometimes a death occurs. With the result that a photo taken years ago no…
A New Season of Caregiving – Part 3
The move in with my mom is a work in process. A very slow process. I’m finding out how easy it is to gather stuff. For instance, I have enough rags to fill a garbage bin. Do they reproduce while in the dark linen closet? I’ve compartmentalized the emotional part of the move. It’s there,…
A New Season of Caregiving – Part 2
First world problem – I have too much stuff. Too many shoes, way too many clothes, and things in my linen closet I haven’t touched in years. What to do? Purge. Repeat. Purge again. Mike and I are going from a three-bedroom, 2 ½ bath home to one very small bedroom in my mother’s townhome….
The Adrenaline Rush of Caregiving
On Labor Day, I left my doctor’s office and hopped in my car to drive home. My cell phone rang, and I saw it was my mom calling. I answered with my usual cheery, “Hello-o.” Mom’s hitched breathing came through the phone. “What’s wrong?” I demanded, as adrenaline surged from my overworked adrenal gland. “I…