Consider this scenario: Your father is a Type 1 diabetic. His insulin pump stops working and he hasn’t received insulin for over 24 hours. He falls into a coma. Do you have the authority to call his health care plan and get an appointment and advice from a nurse? Do you have the right to…
Autumn colors, leaves falling, daylight savings – these are signs the season has changed from the lazy days of summer. There are signs of changes in the caregiving season as well. • Your aging parent is becoming more forgetful • Your loved one is showing more fear of going out or falling down • He…
“Your mother is dying.” My mind understood the doctor’s words, but my heart refused to believe them. Only a few days prior, my ninety-four-year old mother had taken a day trip to Reno with my husband. How could she be dying? Why now, God? This was supposed to be the weekend I would put the…
When Mike and I first talked about moving in with my mom after her stroke, my sister in law gave us some advice. “Talk to a counselor. You need to make sure all of you understand boundaries.” At the time, I thought she was making something out of nothing. I could handle Mom and her…
Question from a reader: My aging grandmother is becoming more grouchy and pushy. She doesn’t hesitate to voice whatever she thinks, whether or not it’s rude. How does a Christian deal with that? The Bible says to honor our father and mother, so how do we honor our aging loved ones when they act like…
The move in with my mom is a work in process. A very slow process. I’m finding out how easy it is to gather stuff. For instance, I have enough rags to fill a garbage bin. Do they reproduce while in the dark linen closet? I’ve compartmentalized the emotional part of the move. It’s there,…
“What would you think about moving in with Mom?” my husband asked one recent evening. Before the last syllable died in the ensuing silence, I was already shaking my head from side to side. “No. Nope. No way.” There would be bloodshed. Not mine. A few weeks later, he brought it up again. My 93-year-old…
When an older adult loses their hearing, they face the same fears as anyone with a different kind of disability. They worry about being marginalized, or seen as incompetent, or even stupid. Sometimes they lash out at the ones who try to help. Since Mike is semi-retired, he spends more time with my mom on…
Aging and isolation, helping elders cope with seclusion when they start losing loved ones. I met Alene when she lived with her son, Greg and his wife. She is another elderly woman who struggled with loss and loneliness, but her story is different. When Alene became too frail for Greg and his wife to provide…
As we look to a brand new year, it brings to mind new beginnings. A fresh start. Maybe do things differently this year. Here are some resolutions I’ve made to make 2017 better than 2016 in my role as caregiver for my ninety-three-year-old mother: Give more grace. I need to remind myself that she’s 93,…
