When my son was diagnosed with terminal cancer at the age of twenty-nine, his wife became his full-time caregiver. She monitored his meds, took him to chemo treatments, and prepared a special diet. When he was hospitalized, she brought healthy food into his room to replace the questionable hospital meals. At home, she helped him…
My brother died in May at the age of sixty-five. His death was sudden; a jarring crash into the reality that we all have an expiration date. Although he was four years older, we were close growing up. Every summer our grandma and grandpa (Nini and Yangie) took us camping for two weeks. My oldest…
As a bank manager, I receive ongoing training in financial elder abuse. I am trained on how to detect abuse, and when to report it. The bank has protocol on how to separate the older person from the family member or friend who may be taking advantage of them. In addition, it seems there are…
I have experienced the sandwich generation – facing challenges I could have never imagined. This is an update to the original article published in 2016. I was my dad’s favorite. I don’t think my brothers will argue with me. He was hard on them, easy on me. That’s my girl is a phrase I heard…
“My mom/dad is driving me crazy! She gets upset over the tiniest thing. She blames me when anything upsets her schedule.” Sound familiar? As a caregiver, you may have said the same thing on more than one occasion. I know I have. If you’re caring for an elderly parent, it’s important to remember they need routine. You may…
I had the privilege of talking with Dr. Freda Crews last spring about my book, The Caregiving Season. It was especially poignant for her, as she helped care for her aging parents before their deaths. How have you faced your changing role while caring for your parents? Dr. Freda V. Crews, D. Min., Ph.D., is…
The Fear Behind the Fear My friend Greg’s mom, Alene, and I discussed dying. It’s something she thinks about, now that she’s in her eighth decade. “I’m not so much afraid about eternity. I guess I’m scared about the actual event of dying. Will it hurt? Will I struggle to breathe or have pain?” She…
In my father’s house are many mansions. If it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. John 14:12 “I’m afraid to die.” I’ve heard this comment from more than one older person. And all are professing Christians. What is going on? Christians have an abiding belief…
When an older adult loses their hearing, they face the same fears as anyone with a different kind of disability. They worry about being marginalized, or seen as incompetent, or even stupid. Sometimes they lash out at the ones who try to help. Since Mike is semi-retired, he spends more time with my mom on…
Have you ever ignored someone speaking to you? Perhaps she asked you to do something you didn’t want to do (this is especially pervasive in the teen years). Sometimes I pretend I can’t hear my husband when he asks me for the seventh time how to find a document on the computer. He admits to…
