“EEK!” My husband, Mike, ran into the bedroom. “What happened? Do I need to kill a spider?” “NO,” I wailed. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, pinching the skin of my upper arm. “I have chicken skin.” I turned to show him. “Honey, you’re still as beautiful to me as the…
Why are you a caregiver? Did you choose your role? Did you weigh carefully the pros and cons, then decide based upon a rational, thoughtful process? Maybe you made a list of reasons why you should care for your elderly parent. Did a measure of guilt guide your choice? Most caregivers are either thrust into…
My mother gave me her ring. She can’t wear it anymore. Her once slender fingers have become swollen with arthritis. Four perfectly matched diamonds are mounted in a row on a gold band. I always thought it was her wedding ring because she’s worn it for as long as I can remember. She recently told…
Have you ever ignored someone speaking to you? Perhaps she asked you to do something you didn’t want to do (this is especially pervasive in the teen years). Sometimes I pretend I can’t hear my husband when he asks me for the seventh time how to find a document on the computer. He admits to…
This is a guest post from Ada, whose husband has dementia. There are many feelings associated with losing a loved one to dementia. He is still here physically and mentally, there is a person there, but not necessarily my Gary. It is some other form of a man. He doesn’t think like him, nor act like…
History is what makes us who we are. A couple of years ago, my husband, Mike, and his entire family, all five siblings and their spouses, came together over a family tragedy, the death of our thirty-year-old son. The night before his memorial service, we gathered together for dinner at my brother-in-laws’ home. As families…
If you’re caring for an elderly parent, it’s likely you’ll be tired of the physical and mental energy needed by your aging loved one. It’s normal to be tired. But if you don’t take time to rest, you may suffer from compassion fatigue, also known as burnout. Symptoms of Compassion Fatigue Excessive blaming Bottled up…
Where did I leave my glasses? Why did I come into this room? Speak louder. I can’t hear you. I won’t be able to go to your party; I don’t like to drive at night. Why don’t my kids call? All they want to do is text. If you’re older than sixty-five, you may have…
Financial elder abuse is when an older adult is financially exploited by a stranger. It’s even worse when it’s someone they know, like a family member or caregiver. Financial elder abuse crosses all social, educational, and economic boundaries. My mom’s phone rang one fall morning. “Grandma?” asked the male voice on the other end. “Mark?”…
Several years ago, our family gathered for the traditional Christmas dinner. We were at the home of my brother and sister-in-law. An argument ensued over a proposed expansion of a nearby Catholic Church. My dad, who was in a wheelchair, started complaining about being cold. My nephew, who has autism, started muttering loudly. I remember…
