At a conference I attended, a speaker used a Hawaiian word I’d never heard before: kuleana. It means a responsibility, but it’s more than a duty or task. It also carries a connotation of privilege. I wondered if I could apply this to caring for my mother. Could I adjust my perspective, and view this…
Like you, I’m a caregiver. My 92-year-old mother is in fair health, yet her macular degeneration has robbed her of most of her vision. She relies on me to provide dinner every day, pay her bills, pick up prescriptions, and take her to endless doctor appointments. My struggle is seeing my mother as more than an…
When you work full time and also have responsibility for your aging parent, sometimes the two worlds collide. Work pressures suck your emotional energy until you feel as dry as a shed snake skin. It’s a monumental task to dredge up enough strength to deal with the demands of caregiving. All you want to do…
This is a guest post from Ada Gerard, whose husband has FTD, a form of dementia. Her blog is gotoyourcornersandcomeoutloving.BlogSpot.com. Other than when he or I went on business trips, backpacking or visiting family, Gary and I were rarely apart for long periods of time. We always came home to each other. In 30 years,…
Sometimes Mom, Mike, and I sit around the table and reminisce. We’ll all start laughing so hard our eyes water. I cherish those times. I realize I’m not just my mother’s caregiver; I’m still her daughter, and I like the dual role. Jesus spent the last night of his life having supper with his twelve…
A guest post from Ada Gerard, gotoyourcorners.blogspot.com/ Sitting in the living room at Gary’s Memory Care center, I overhear some hilarious conversations. The residents talk with each other, and neither of them know what the other is talking about. For example: One female resident picked up her purse to go to her room for the…
When you’re in the position of caring for your parent, it’s easy to revert to being a child again, especially if your relationship was never healthy to begin with. It can be difficult to create a boundary as an adult if no boundaries have previously existed. How do we draw that boundary line? Consider how…
I was my dad’s favorite. I don’t think my brothers will argue with me. He was hard on them, easy on me. That’s my girl is a phrase I heard often. He wasn’t given to physical affection. I never remember him saying, “I love you.” But that’s my girl was the same thing. My father’s…
“What time do you leave for work in the morning?” It’s 7:30 at night, and my mom has called to ask me a seemingly innocuous question. “Usually around 8:00 or so.” My hand grips the phone, waiting for the sucker punch. “Oh,” she says, with a sigh. The silence lengthens. I’m determined to wait her…
Aging Parents, Caring for the elderly “My mom/dad is driving me crazy! She gets upset over the tiniest thing. She blames me when anything upsets her schedule.” Sound familiar? As a caregiver, you may have said the same thing on more than one occasion. I know I have. If you’re caring for an elderly parent, it’s important to…
