Have you ever ignored someone speaking to you? Perhaps she asked you to do something you didn’t want to do (this is especially pervasive in the teen years). Sometimes I pretend I can’t hear my husband when he asks me for the seventh time how to find a document on the computer. He admits to…
This is a guest post from Ada, whose husband has dementia. There are many feelings associated with losing a loved one to dementia. He is still here physically and mentally, there is a person there, but not necessarily my Gary. It is some other form of a man. He doesn’t think like him, nor act like…
History is what makes us who we are. A couple of years ago, my husband, Mike, and his entire family, all five siblings and their spouses, came together over a family tragedy, the death of our thirty-year-old son. The night before his memorial service, we gathered together for dinner at my brother-in-laws’ home. As families…
If you’re caring for an elderly parent, it’s likely you’ll be tired of the physical and mental energy needed by your aging loved one. It’s normal to be tired. But if you don’t take time to rest, you may suffer from compassion fatigue, also known as burnout. Symptoms of Compassion Fatigue Excessive blaming Bottled up…
Where did I leave my glasses? Why did I come into this room? Speak louder. I can’t hear you. I won’t be able to go to your party; I don’t like to drive at night. Why don’t my kids call? All they want to do is text. If you’re older than sixty-five, you may…
Financial elder abuse is when an older adult is financially exploited by a stranger. It’s even worse when it’s someone they know, like a family member or caregiver. Financial elder abuse crosses all social, educational, and economic boundaries. My mom’s phone rang one fall morning. “Grandma?” asked the male voice on the other end. “Mark?”…
Several years ago, our family gathered for the traditional Christmas dinner. We were at the home of my brother and sister-in-law. An argument ensued over a proposed expansion of a nearby Catholic Church. My dad, who was in a wheelchair, started complaining about being cold. My nephew, who has autism, started muttering loudly. I remember…
Winter brings short days, inclement weather, and bleak landscapes. Plants die, dropping their withered leaves on barren ground. Sometimes our souls become as stark as leafless trees, or like branches weighted with heavy snow. Have you ever wished for a respite from the daily tasks of caring for an elderly parent? I know that the…
Summer is when nature turns up the heat. Here in the Sacramento Valley, we grow some of the world’s best food. It wouldn’t be possible without the long, hot, summer days. In the caregiving season, the heat is turned up as well. We’re hit with the stark reality that life is changing, and we better…
Autumn colors, leaves falling, daylight savings; these are signs the season has changed from the lazy days of summer. There are signs of the changes in the caregiving season as well. When my father’s health began to decline, I often wondered if aliens had abducted him and replaced him with an old, feeble man. He’d…
