This is a guest post from Ada, whose husband has dementia.

bungee gary

There are many feelings associated with losing a loved one to dementia.  He is still here physically and mentally, there is a person there, but not necessarily my Gary.  It is some other form of a man. He doesn’t think like him, nor act like him but he still knows my touch and tells me he loves me.

I feel anger.  Remorse.  Anger.  Pain. Grief.  Anxiety. Frustration.  Love. Did I mention Anger? Questioning.  Rage.

I had my own frustrations this week.  I ended up skipping a Nursing Pinning Ceremony and went to Urgent Care with a piercing pain in my side.  They referred me to the ER for a CT scan.  Diverticulitis was the diagnosis.  I managed to get the prescriptions filled and am on heavy doses of antibiotics and am not needing the pain pills.

This too will pass and life will go on.  While sitting hooked to an IV in the ER, it would have been nice to have my husband beside me or at least available by phone.  There was no point in even trying as he is just clueless to the emotion of others.  He still laughs and gets frustrated…the only way I can describe him is disconnected and distant. What is next?  Only God knows.

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