I had the privilege of talking with Dr. Freda Crews last spring about my book, The Caregiving Season. It was especially poignant for her, as she helped care for her aging parents before their deaths. How have you faced your changing role while caring for your parents? Dr. Freda V. Crews, D. Min., Ph.D., is…
When an older adult loses their hearing, they face the same fears as anyone with a different kind of disability. They worry about being marginalized, or seen as incompetent, or even stupid. Sometimes they lash out at the ones who try to help. Since Mike is semi-retired, he spends more time with my mom on…
Aging and isolation, helping elders cope with seclusion when they start losing loved ones. I met Alene when she lived with her son, Greg and his wife. She is another elderly woman who struggled with loss and loneliness, but her story is different. When Alene became too frail for Greg and his wife to provide…
As we look to a brand new year, it brings to mind new beginnings. A fresh start. Maybe do things differently this year. Here are some resolutions I’ve made to make 2017 better than 2016 in my role as caregiver for my ninety-three-year-old mother: Give more grace. I need to remind myself that she’s 93,…
At a conference I attended, a speaker used a Hawaiian word I’d never heard before: kuleana. It means a responsibility, but it’s more than a duty or task. It also carries a connotation of privilege. I wondered if I could apply this to caring for my mother. Could I adjust my perspective, and view this…
When you work full time and also have responsibility for your aging parent, sometimes the two worlds collide. Work pressures suck your emotional energy until you feel as dry as a shed snake skin. It’s a monumental task to dredge up enough strength to deal with the demands of caregiving. All you want to do…
A guest post from Ada Gerard, gotoyourcorners.blogspot.com/ Sitting in the living room at Gary’s Memory Care center, I overhear some hilarious conversations. The residents talk with each other, and neither of them know what the other is talking about. For example: One female resident picked up her purse to go to her room for the…
When you’re in the position of caring for your parent, it’s easy to revert to being a child again, especially if your relationship was never healthy to begin with. It can be difficult to create a boundary as an adult if no boundaries have previously existed. How do we draw that boundary line? Consider how…
I was my dad’s favorite. I don’t think my brothers will argue with me. He was hard on them, easy on me. That’s my girl is a phrase I heard often. He wasn’t given to physical affection. I never remember him saying, “I love you.” But that’s my girl was the same thing. My father’s…
“What time do you leave for work in the morning?” It’s 7:30 at night, and my mom has called to ask me a seemingly innocuous question. “Usually around 8:00 or so.” My hand grips the phone, waiting for the sucker punch. “Oh,” she says, with a sigh. The silence lengthens. I’m determined to wait her…
