When an older adult loses their hearing, they face the same fears as anyone with a different kind of disability. They worry about being marginalized, or seen as incompetent, or even stupid. Sometimes they lash out at the ones who try to help. Since Mike is semi-retired, he spends more time with my mom on…
Aging and isolation, helping elders cope with seclusion when they start losing loved ones. I met Alene when she lived with her son, Greg and his wife. She is another elderly woman who struggled with loss and loneliness, but her story is different. When Alene became too frail for Greg and his wife to provide…
As we look to a brand new year, it brings to mind new beginnings. A fresh start. Maybe do things differently this year. Here are some resolutions I’ve made to make 2017 better than 2016 in my role as caregiver for my ninety-three-year-old mother: Give more grace. I need to remind myself that she’s 93,…
Several years ago, our family gathered for the traditional Christmas dinner. We were at the home of my brother and sister-in-law. An argument ensued over a proposed expansion of a nearby Catholic Church. My dad, who was in a wheelchair, started complaining about being cold. My nephew, who has autism, started muttering loudly. I remember…
How many times have you been asked “Are you ready for Christmas?” in the past two weeks? A dozen? More? My day job as a branch manager for a bank brings me into contact with many people each day. Seems like I get asked that question at least once a day. I also care for…
What are your plans for Christmas and New Year’s? Do they include a house-bound parent, spouse, or child? Do you dream of going away for the holidays, but can’t because of caregiving responsibilities? My mother’s birthday is Christmas Eve. She’ll be ninety-three this year. Mom expects a big family dinner on her birthday. How…
A Guest Post By Dawn Justice Please understand, When I call and check on my loved one each day, It is not because I do not trust your care for her. It is because for the last nineteen years, My mom and I have either seen each other, And or spoken to each other, Every…
Martha S. says she was a ‘reluctant’ caregiver of her mother, a recovering alcoholic. Even though her mom had been sober for thirty-five years, Martha still remembered being a young teen cooking dinner while her mom was passed out on her bed. Yet as Martha spent more time caring for her mother, her reluctance melted…
At a conference I attended, a speaker used a Hawaiian word I’d never heard before: kuleana. It means a responsibility, but it’s more than a duty or task. It also carries a connotation of privilege. I wondered if I could apply this to caring for my mother. Could I adjust my perspective, and view this…
Like you, I’m a caregiver. My 92-year-old mother is in fair health, yet her macular degeneration has robbed her of most of her vision. She relies on me to provide dinner every day, pay her bills, pick up prescriptions, and take her to endless doctor appointments. My struggle is seeing my mother as more than an…
