“Your mother is dying.” My mind understood the doctor’s words, but my heart refused to believe them. Only a few days prior, my ninety-four-year old mother had taken a day trip to Reno with my husband. How could she be dying? Why now, God? This was supposed to be the weekend I would put the…
When Mike and I first talked about moving in with my mom after her stroke, my sister in law gave us some advice. “Talk to a counselor. You need to make sure all of you understand boundaries.” At the time, I thought she was making something out of nothing. I could handle Mom and her…
My mother gave me her ring. She can’t wear it anymore. Her once slender fingers have become swollen with arthritis. Four perfectly matched diamonds are mounted in a row on a gold band. I always thought it was her wedding ring because she’s worn it for as long as I can remember. She recently told…
Question from a reader: My aging grandmother is becoming more grouchy and pushy. She doesn’t hesitate to voice whatever she thinks, whether or not it’s rude. How does a Christian deal with that? The Bible says to honor our father and mother, so how do we honor our aging loved ones when they act like…
Mim has been a member of the same church for over forty years. She’s served on the Women’s Ministry Council, sung in the choir, worked in the nursery, and is a prayer warrior. She’s adored by everyone who knows her. Now in her late eighties, Mim had a stroke. Her daughter flew up from Southern…
Have you ever flipped through old photos? Many times I don’t recognize the people whose picture I captured years ago. People pass in and out of our lives. We move. We change jobs or churches. We no longer have common interests. Sometimes a death occurs. With the result that a photo taken years ago no…
The move in with my mom is a work in process. A very slow process. I’m finding out how easy it is to gather stuff. For instance, I have enough rags to fill a garbage bin. Do they reproduce while in the dark linen closet? I’ve compartmentalized the emotional part of the move. It’s there,…
If you’re caring for an elderly parent, it’s likely you’ll be exhausted by the physical and mental energy needed by your aging loved one. Take time to rest, or you may suffer from compassion fatigue, also known as caregiver burnout. Symptoms of Compassion Fatigue Excessive blaming Bottled up emotion Complaining Substance abuse Difficulty concentrating Poor…
“Mom, why do you have an entire shelf of plastic take-home containers?” “I might need them someday.” My mother’s answer is the same no matter what I ask. Plastic Cool Whip containers, empty sour cream tubs, tiny lidded bowls that once contained sauce. Old towels, empty coffee cans, and plastic bags of every size and…
Maria cared for my dad when he needed more help than my mom, Mike, and I could give. She was a nursing student with a huge heart in a tiny body. Fast forward eight years. Maria was getting married and our entire family was to attend the wedding. It’s all my mom talked about for…
