Finding a New Normal – Caregiving from Afar

This is a guest post from Ada Gerard, whose husband has FTD, a form of dementia. Her blog is gotoyourcornersandcomeoutloving.BlogSpot.com. Other than when he or I went on business trips, backpacking or visiting family, Gary and I were rarely apart for long periods of time. We always came home to each other. In 30 years,…

Caregiving Is More Than Food

Sometimes Mom, Mike, and I sit around the table and reminisce. We’ll all start laughing so hard our eyes water. I cherish those times. I realize I’m not just my mother’s caregiver; I’m still her daughter, and I like the dual role. Jesus spent the last night of his life having supper with his twelve…

Changing Positions on the Team

A guest post from Ada Gerard, gotoyourcorners.blogspot.com/ Sitting in the living room at Gary’s Memory Care center, I overhear some hilarious conversations.  The residents talk with each other, and neither of them know what the other is talking about. For example: One female resident picked up her purse to go to her room for the…

manipulated caregiver

The Manipulated Caregiver

 “What time do you leave for work in the morning?” It’s 7:30 at night, and my mom has called to ask me a seemingly innocuous question. “Usually around 8:00 or so.” My hand grips the phone, waiting for the sucker punch. “Oh,” she says, with a sigh. The silence lengthens. I’m determined to wait her…

Don’t Upset Me — Or Else! …Caring for the elderly

Aging Parents, Caring for the elderly “My mom/dad is driving me crazy! She gets upset over the tiniest thing. She blames me when anything upsets her schedule.” Sound familiar? As a caregiver, you may have said the same thing on more than one occasion. I know I have. If you’re caring for an elderly parent, it’s important to…

Why Are You a Caregiver?

Why are you a caregiver? Did you choose your role? Did you weigh carefully the pros and cons, then decide based upon a rational, thoughtful process? Maybe you made a list of reasons why you should care for your elderly parent. Did a measure of guilt guide your choice? Most caregivers are either thrust into…

Give yourself a break – Caregivers need care too!

I recently returned from a long weekend, across the southern California to Rosarito Beach, Mexico. It was a much-needed trip away from the day to day routine of working and caregiving. I spent a lot of time thinking, while staring at the endless waves crashing onto the shore. My thoughts turned to you, caregivers who…

My Mother’s Hands

My mother gave me her ring. She can’t wear it anymore. Her once slender fingers have become swollen with arthritis. Four perfectly matched diamonds are mounted in a row on a gold band. I always thought it was her wedding ring because she’s worn it for as long as I can remember. She recently told…

Growing Older – A Caregiver’s Perspective

Where did I leave my glasses? Why did I come into this room?   Speak louder. I can’t hear you. I won’t be able to go to your party; I don’t like to drive at night. Why don’t my kids call? All they want to do is text. If you’re older than sixty-five, you may…

I Can’t Hear You

They have ears, but they hear not. Psalm 135:17 I recently had a conversation with my mother that went something like this: Me:      Mike and I are going to a movie this weekend. Mom:   What? You’re moving? Me:      No, we’re going to a MOVIE. Mom:   Oh, what are you going to see? Me:      Saturn Rising.…