Several years ago, our family gathered for the traditional Christmas dinner. We were at the home of my brother and sister-in-law. An argument ensued over a proposed expansion of a nearby Catholic Church. My dad, who was in a wheelchair, started complaining about being cold. My nephew, who has autism, started muttering loudly. I remember…
How many times have you been asked “Are you ready for Christmas?” in the past two weeks? A dozen? More? My day job as a branch manager for a bank brings me into contact with many people each day. Seems like I get asked that question at least once a day. I also care for…
What are your plans for Christmas and New Year’s? Do they include a house-bound parent, spouse, or child? Do you dream of going away for the holidays, but can’t because of caregiving responsibilities? My mother’s birthday is Christmas Eve. She’ll be ninety-three this year. Mom expects a big family dinner on her birthday. How…
Martha S. says she was a ‘reluctant’ caregiver of her mother, a recovering alcoholic. Even though her mom had been sober for thirty-five years, Martha still remembered being a young teen cooking dinner while her mom was passed out on her bed. Yet as Martha spent more time caring for her mother, her reluctance melted…
At a conference I attended, a speaker used a Hawaiian word I’d never heard before: kuleana. It means a responsibility, but it’s more than a duty or task. It also carries a connotation of privilege. I wondered if I could apply this to caring for my mother. Could I adjust my perspective, and view this…
Like you, I’m a caregiver. My 92-year-old mother is in fair health, yet her macular degeneration has robbed her of most of her vision. She relies on me to provide dinner every day, pay her bills, pick up prescriptions, and take her to endless doctor appointments. My struggle is seeing my mother as more than an…
When you work full time and also have responsibility for your aging parent, sometimes the two worlds collide. Work pressures suck your emotional energy until you feel as dry as a shed snake skin. It’s a monumental task to dredge up enough strength to deal with the demands of caregiving. All you want to do…
This is a guest post from Ada Gerard, whose husband has FTD, a form of dementia. Her blog is gotoyourcornersandcomeoutloving.BlogSpot.com. Other than when he or I went on business trips, backpacking or visiting family, Gary and I were rarely apart for long periods of time. We always came home to each other. In 30 years,…
Sometimes Mom, Mike, and I sit around the table and reminisce. We’ll all start laughing so hard our eyes water. I cherish those times. I realize I’m not just my mother’s caregiver; I’m still her daughter, and I like the dual role. Jesus spent the last night of his life having supper with his twelve…