age related hearing loss

I Can’t Hear You – Part 2

When an older adult loses their hearing, they face the same fears as anyone with a different kind of disability. They worry about being marginalized, or seen as incompetent, or even stupid. Sometimes they lash out at the ones who try to help. Since Mike is semi-retired, he spends more time with my mom on…

Everyone I know Is Dead – Part 2

Aging and isolation, helping elders cope with seclusion when they start losing loved ones. I met Alene when she lived with her son, Greg and his wife. She is another elderly woman who struggled with loss and loneliness, but her story is different. When Alene became too frail for Greg and his wife to provide…

New Year, Same Old Caregiving

As we look to a brand new year, it brings to mind new beginnings. A fresh start. Maybe do things differently this year. Here are some resolutions I’ve made to make 2017 better than 2016 in my role as caregiver for my ninety-three-year-old mother: Give more grace. I need to remind myself that she’s 93,…

Kuleana and Caregiving

At a conference I attended, a speaker used a Hawaiian word I’d never heard before: kuleana. It means a responsibility, but it’s more than a duty or task. It also carries a connotation of privilege. I wondered if I could apply this to caring for my mother. Could I adjust my perspective, and view this…

When Your Caregiving World Collides with Life

When you work full time and also have responsibility for your aging parent, sometimes the two worlds collide. Work pressures suck your emotional energy until you feel as dry as a shed snake skin. It’s a monumental task to dredge up enough strength to deal with the demands of caregiving. All you want to do…

Finding a New Normal – Caregiving from Afar

This is a guest post from Ada Gerard, whose husband has FTD, a form of dementia. Her blog is gotoyourcornersandcomeoutloving.BlogSpot.com. Other than when he or I went on business trips, backpacking or visiting family, Gary and I were rarely apart for long periods of time. We always came home to each other. In 30 years,…

Caregiving Is More Than Food

Sometimes Mom, Mike, and I sit around the table and reminisce. We’ll all start laughing so hard our eyes water. I cherish those times. I realize I’m not just my mother’s caregiver; I’m still her daughter, and I like the dual role. Jesus spent the last night of his life having supper with his twelve…

Changing Positions on the Team

A guest post from Ada Gerard, gotoyourcorners.blogspot.com/ Sitting in the living room at Gary’s Memory Care center, I overhear some hilarious conversations.  The residents talk with each other, and neither of them know what the other is talking about. For example: One female resident picked up her purse to go to her room for the…

manipulated caregiver

The Manipulated Caregiver

 “What time do you leave for work in the morning?” It’s 7:30 at night, and my mom has called to ask me a seemingly innocuous question. “Usually around 8:00 or so.” My hand grips the phone, waiting for the sucker punch. “Oh,” she says, with a sigh. The silence lengthens. I’m determined to wait her…